Challenging behaviour and it’s effect/ my response as a coach.
Today I was on the receiving end of challenging behaviour. It was the individuals way of telling me they didn’t feel comfortable with the situation they were in. Because it was a behaviour and as a direct response of something I asked that person to do it left me questioning myself. As a coach I always try to be the best I can be and when it seems I fall short of that standard for whatever reason I start to doubt myself; did I ask too much of them? Did I move a skill forward before they were ready? Was my support of that skill incompetent, therefore leaving that person feeling unsafe? Is progressing a skill what that individual needs or wants?!
I think sometimes as coaches we can sometimes lose sight of a participants reason for taking part and allow ourselves to make decisions for them. Are we doing things for the right reasons? Have we become so preoccupied with the big picture or long term goal that we’ve lost sight of the individual and what they want.
Thanks a blog is so full of questions I guess it does show exactly where I am in the thought process here- I’ve not yet made my mind up about the scenario today and I think it needs a) further thought from me but also b) another perspective. I’m going to speak to the participants old coach and find out how they used this progression and see if they can shine some light on the matter and help me to feel better and more confident about what I do going forward. My personal goal is to prevent any further behaviours as to me this is a clear indication by the individual that we’ve not quite met their needs at the time. If the reason for that turns out to be me failing at the support, then I’ll have to rethink whether I should be doing that progression. If I picked the wrong day/ time to use the progression then I think I need to get to know the participant better and pay more attention to them and less attention to what progress I want to see out of a session. Ultimately the #lessonlearned here is that it’s really important as coaches that we always have the individuals needs front and centre of our mind and place them ahead of our own and ahead of any of our goals. I don’t think there’s ever a time when the goal for the individual comes before their present needs.
There was another situation that occurred recently that I felt bad about and have already vowed to change, and that is when another coach and I became too involved in a discussion for our own benefit during a session; so much so that the client we were working with received very little feedback or engagement from either of us. That wasn’t fair on them, so I’ve already made a mental note to stay client focussed and always ensure that the client’s needs come first.
I hope this is at least food for thought, and relatable to other aspects of coaching and life despite perhaps not offering much of a solution! If you have any suggestions let me know in the comments below! In the meantime…
Keep bouncing! ~Bella